Vomit Boy

We are sitting at dinner the other night, having a lovely grilled steak, veggies, and potatoes meal. Vern is not so happy about the vegetables part and doesn’t want to eat them. He starts his gagging routine. (Yes this is not new for Vern.) I sternly look at him and say “DO NOT THROW UP because you don’t want to eat your vegetables!” I continue, “Take a small drink of water and smaller bites.” Again I have repeated this soooooooo many times I lost count after time 1 million. He continues with the faces and then BLURP out onto his lap begins to erupt dinner. I literally leap out of my chair looking for something to catch his volcanic activity. At the exact same time loud moans and groans and sick sounds begin emitting from the other two children.



“VERN IS GROSS”


“MAKE HIM STOP”


“EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW”

I manage to grab a bowl on the counter and sprint back to the volcano just in time to turn the chair away from the other people at the table, place the bowl under the eruption and catch the remaining surges of chewed up food, water and stomach acid. Such a lovely site and smell. I am sure if you have witnessed such events they are vividly pictured in your mind right now. (yes, please do thank me for that visual.) Vern is finally done and I have to find a place to set the bowl. The floor is not an option as the dog and cats will want to see what that lovely smell is in the bowl and taste the contents. (I am almost making myself sick just typing this…) Then the cleanup must commence. Of course he has a button down shirt on so I have to touch things I’d rather not touch. The pants are completely covered so I peel those off inside out. The chair cushion is also completely covered so it goes directly into the outside trash bin. (remember your trash guys at the holidays) Then the floor needs all wiped up and disposal of eruption. What a dinner…I have no idea how much time has passed but I am no longer hungry and have no desire to finish my once lovely meal.