What it takes to flush a toilet

Flushing a toilet is simple.

1. Do your business.
2. Put lid down.
3. Reach to the side of the toilet to that little handle thingy and push down.

WA LAAAA
Toilet is flushed.

Vern has much difficulty with this task.  He seems to think after step 1 he is finished and everyone else will be excited to see his business.

THIS
IS
NOT
THE
CASE!!!

His older brother and sister give him grief and sometimes I think he does it just to egg them on. Sigh...

The other craziness that occurs is the loud singing and yelling and talking that goes on while Vern is doing his business. You would think there is a party of 8 people in that bathroom whooping it up. WHY?!??!?!!?

So anyway tonight was yet another episode of "VERNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN you didn't flush. Get in there and flush!"  He ignored his brothers wails so...

 After telling him multiple times just this week to flush he had to pay up. Get the piggy bank out and get him where it hurts.  Will it help? We shall see.

We will get to washing hands another time...

Perfect for a 9yr old boy - Gross for the rest of us...

Vern rarely talks to me on the phone. The other two will chatter away but Vern will only begrudingly talk if I force him to. Then it will consist of only short quick answers followed by a bye mom - click before anything else.

Yesterday something was up. He asked to talk to me when he got home from school. I was stunned. It went something like this.

"Hi Vern, how was your day?"
"Fine. Mom guess what? I had diahrea at school. I mean it was a lot and it EXPLODED out my butt." He went on with some more details I will leave out as you get the jist of his excitement and how absolutely awesome this was for him.
"How are you feeling now?"
"Oh, Ok I guess. Can I still go to wrestling?"
"Yes as long as no more bathroom trips."
"Great, hey mom can I stay home from school tomorrow?"
"Let's see how you feel first ok?"
"Ok, bye mom." Click...

I slowly remove the phone from my ear and stare at it in disbelieve. That's my Vern.

Some things I would rather NOT know...

So for some reason this weekend the kids were going down memory road. Even those kids take that trip once in a while...

The things they were giggling about I wish I had never heard. Now that I heard and laughed I am going to share the misery with you! HA HA HA HA

First was when Ann was about 5 and Vern was around 2. I used to give them baths at the same time to save me some time and then let them play for a while.   I guess during one of these "play" times they decided to discover their anus. As Ann tells the story they were playing in the bathtub when Vern stuck his finger in his bung, pulled it out and said look brown!  So then Ann has to try it. Then they proceed to see how far they can stick their finger in... All I can say is I am glad I knew none of this occured!!!

Then Vern proceeds to tell me one time when he was at day care he had to go poop. So instead of going inside to use the restroom he finds the nearest bush and goes poop in the bush. He said none of the teachers ever found out but some other little boy found it.

Again...I am glad I never knew about these things when they happened.
SHUTTERS!!!!!!!!