Spiders

Ring Ring


V - Tearful whimpering

M - Hello?

V - Mommmmmmmm there is a GIANT spider in my room.

M - Did you kill it?

V - No, it got away. (more tearful sobs)

M - Go get the fly swatter and take into your room and start picking up and shaking things to see where he is. Hey Vern this is a great opportunity to get your room cleaned.

V - MOM, (totally ignoring what I just said) I can’t sleep in there tonight! It will crawl on me when I am sleeping and eat me. It was a wolf spider. (For those of you that don’t know, these are large brown spiders that JUMP great distances)


M - Good Luck finding him sweetie, I’ve got to get back to work now. I hope you find and get it.


When I get home there is my coupon container sitting in the hallway. I am wondering why my coupons climbed out of the cabinet and walked down the hallway??? I pick it up and there is a spider below the container. I make sure it’s dead by stomping repeatedly on it until some of its legs fly off, replace the container and proceed to find Vern.


M - Vern, did you kill the spider in your room?

V - No mom why?

M - There is a dead one in the hallway. Go look under my coupon container.


V - Nope NOT the spider I saw. The one I saw was this big (he makes one the size of half dollar in his hand).

M - Oh wow Vern that is a big one.

V - MOMMMMMM it REALLLLY was that big.

M - I sure hope he is dead somewhere. (As I am walking off to finish dinner.)

Little does Vern know I am TERRIFIED of spiders no matter what size they are. I think I will stuff socks under my door tonight so that d*mn spider doesn’t sneak into MY room and eat me!

V – Vern
M – Mom